sHaNuRhaFiZah

That voice.

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 06:28:18 GMT

Heard tt sweet husky voice.. it melts my heart instantly..

Arrrr! tt boi.. he ate my heart..

Hooow?
Haaaa-oooo-wow?
H-ooow?

Je veux ton amour et je veux ton revenge

Je veux ton amour

Those eyes..

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 05:01:10 GMT

Had a great time bonding with Mummy & Sister on sat.. having KFC breakfast & shopping at JP� nothing much jz having some girl time.. As usual.. Mummy will find opportunities to make small talks wit me wen lil� sister not paying attention/around.. she seems to have a lot of faith in him.. not me.. HIM� im not quite sure why thou.. Perhaps thru these yrs she kinda used to having him hanging arn.. hmm.. & also.maybe cz Mums.. they just have more patience and faith in others.. jz like his mum had faith in me.. I saw it thru her eye.. those eyes that had millions of hope & faith..

I must say Mummy is trying really hard to be by my side & cheering me up.. cz unbelievably she bought me 3 new dresses!! WOW!! Usually she�ll be e 1^st to yack at me wen she sees me buying those dresses.. but surprisingly she was e one who persuaded me to buy them! Hahah.. & I told her I�ve alwes wanted a remote toy car.. cz pathetically I nvr had one wen I was younger.. hhaha. She was so determined to buy me one too!! Gosh!! Mummy dear.. u�re such a sweetie.. but of cz lil� sis said I was too BIG for all those.. hahaha!! So we din buy ;(.. but secretly.. I still WANT!! Hehe..

& my obsession for shoes jz dun seems to stop.. cz they are e oni ones tt makes me feel high (literally).. haha.. I dunno.. I jz lurvee shoes� esp heels.. it helps.. it reali does.. in it�s own funny & unique way.. Sister said.. �if e shoe ain�t fancy den it�s ain�t urs�.. wahhaha!! Tt lil� girl! Yea.. kinda hav to agree. I jz lurve shoes tt are unique & fanciful & original.. so jz an update.. latest 2 shoes..

Celebrated Noni�s bday.. jz a super simple one.. & as usual more girl talks.. we discovered one more thing.. it�s so true about tiz quote �You live once, you die one & you love once�. DAMN! Haix.. jz haix.. cz e rest are jz e same. i guez we�ll jz hav to live by it.. till one day perhaps.. tt saying somehow becomes untrue.. due to some miracle or whatsoever..

Bad bad romance.

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 02:07:48 GMT

Been feelin' damn lazy to work lately.. jz damn tired slavin' myself to overloaded & endless work.. Ahhhhh!! I nid a break! I wan to watch MOVIEssssssss!!! Haix� I nid to distress.. Anyone wanna go for movie marathon wit me??? So many feel goooood movies up nw� humph!!!

Well, addicted to good music nowadays.. been listening to all sorts of genre� body crumpin', booty shakin', heart swayin', eye tearin', mind blowin' & surprisingly even those head bangin' ones.. LOLX!! SHA DA GILER AGAKNYEEEE!!! I wanna & NID to move & groove my sorrows, frustrations, joy (if thr's any left) out so badly!!

Recently been hooked to Lady Gaga's � Bad Romance..

A song that speaks my heart desires out.

It's a song of frustration & hope for love.

Ahhhh!! Jz haixxxx�

As I stand here, trying still, I no longer noe wat to hope for.. cz all hope seems to be fading.. I was jz for e eyes & not e heart.. Still, stupidly fightin' my way in.. but in e end.. I do noe & realize.. "Love cannot be forced".. maybe I shud jz disappear frm ur world since my presence no longer make any difference. *winkz.

Deep dwn.. I want your love .. I don't wanna be friends

______________________________________________________________

Lady Gaga - BAD ROMANCE.

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah!
Muh-muh-muh-muh-mah!
Rah-rah-ooh-la-la!
Want your Bad Romance

I want your ugly
I want your disease
I want your everything
As long as it's free
I want your love
Love-love-love
I want your love

I want your drama
The touch of your hand
I want you leather dirty kiss in the scene
And I want your love
You know that I want you
Love-love-love
I want your love

You know that I want you
And you know that I need you
I want it bad
Bad and bad

I want your loving
And I want your revenge
You and me could write a bad romance
I want your loving
All your love is revenge
You and me could write a bad romance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah!
Muh-muh-muh-muh-mah!
Rah-rah-ooh-la-la!
Want your bad romance

I want your horror
I want your design
'Cause you're a criminal
As long as your mine
I want your love
Love-love-love
I want your love

I want your psycho
Your vertical stick
Want you in my room
When your baby is sick
I want your love
Love-love-love
I want your love

You know that I want you
And you know that I need you
I want it bad

Walk walk fashion baby
Work it
Move that bitch crazy

I want your love
And I want your revenge
I want your love
I don't wanna be friends

Said I want your love
And I want your revenge
I want your love
I don't wanna be friends

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah!
Muh-muh-muh-muh-mah!
Rah-rah-ooh-la-la!
Want your bad romance

Controlling e emotions...

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 13:20:43 GMT

In e end.. I nvr did meant anything.. Bt was jz a candy to e eye.. No wonder e feelings cud fade so fast & easily.. Now I Noe... Dun quite Noe wat to feel.. Bt I'm trying to be numb.. Cz ttz e ONI way to stop e bleeding...

Plz get well soon..

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 00:45:39 GMT

Grandma had a heartattack yest.. Haix.. Gt me werried sick.. Haix.. bt she's stable nw.. God, plz mAke her well soon.. I dun tink I'm ready for another big blow.. Another love lost.. I dun tink I cn ever be ready for grandma's depature.. Cz i secretly pray she'll live to see me get married.. She'll live to see my children.. She'll live to have a taste of my own hse.. She'll live to hold my childrens hands like she held on to mine.. She's e only one who pulled me out of depression some years ago.. She hugged me tighted.. Cried wit me n lifted my spirit.. I dun tink I'm ready to loose her forever.. I'm jz nt.. Haix... Nt now..

They say u cnt fix wats broken..

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 13:00:38 GMT

I do Noe tt tiz is jz a pit stop.. It'll be gone soon.. U cnt jz try bring tings bck & expect tings to be e same.. I do Noe tt.. I was jz having my silly wishful thinking again.. Tiz is nt a wish.. U shud Noe better wat I wish & hope for since forever.. I dunno if I cn cope wit things any better wit e nx blow.. Bt I'll try to survive it.. & suddenly kinda sad tt bff is reali goin forward wit flying career.. I Noe I was e one who pushed her into it & sold e idea to her.. Bt ya sad cz I'll miss her terribly.. She's been my motivation & source of laughter & sunshine.. Nvrtheless.. I wish her all e best!! I'm very happi if she gets in anyways cz tt means she owe me a trip to sumwhre arn e werld!! Heh!

Stormy seas..

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 00:25:37 GMT

Heard a fren broke dwn.. Shivering.. Trembling.. Weak in e knees.. Whailing her heart out.. Lying motionlessly.. Oh God.. Plz make her well again.. Plz bring her sunshine bck into her life.. I cnt bear looking or tinking of her tiz way.. She use to b e strength.. The light & the life of e party.. (To tink of it, I was tt gerl.. A few wks ago..) haix.. E power of love it truly either make u or break u.. Haix.. Yt they dun usually get e concept of "the one who hurt u.. Is the only person who cn heal u".. They jz lurveee Kip rubbing in e wounded soul. Haix.. It hasn't been exactly better for me either.. Bt I nid to... I jz hav to.. Haix.. At least for nw.. I nid to be dre for her jz like she hav been thr for me.. "Aint no mountain high enuff.. Ain't no vally low.. Ain't no river wide enuff" wen it comes to her.. Ttz my promise to u since den till forever.. I love u dear fren.. Plz get well soon.. Let's make it thru tiz storm together..

heart to heart talks goesss a longgg wayy..

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 16:24:17 GMT

talked to a fren whom i've not chatted for quite sumtime.. a special fren.. e conversation started well.. but sumhw along e way.. i must have used e wrong werds.. cz it seems tt fren was offended.. hmm... reali din noe wat i said.. but im reali sori.. cz i din mean it.. haix... sori again fren....

on a separate note... heart to heart talks goesss a longgg wayy indeed.. wed was by far e most worth-it MC day ever in my entire 22 yrs of my life.. had a long heart to heart talk to 2 very beautiful, wonderful mothers...

1stly of coz my dearest mum.. she caught me of guard.. she sensed my dissapointment.. forced me to share.. she cried as i cried.. she hold my hands.. & told me to leave it all to God.. see my mum's not a very affectionate kinda person so for her to touch my hand n asked me not to cry anymore was jz so touching.. haix.. she reali tried to be my fren & be thr for me.. i love her so much.. beyond any words can say.. & for her too i'll kip fighting... i'll try not to fail u dear mummy...

the othr mother is someone i learn to love over time... didn't exactly know hw to appreciate her openess some yrs ago.. but i have learnt to love & accept her after sometime... indeed a very wonderful lady... who had so much warmth, kindness & love to spread arn..

ppl.. learn to love ur mothers & treat them like ur world.. cz without them.. thr's no u.. yea at times they cn be irritating & may seems inconsiderate & insensitive towards our feelings... but deep within.. they nvr fail to onli wan wats best for us..

_________________________________________________________

one wish / request fulfilled tdy... both had wished / requested for it bt nvr happened due to our domineering 'egos'.. so tdy it finally happened...

& still i noe i am nothing.... nvrtheless thank u.

It's all e same..

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 15:17:18 GMT

bck in sg.. 1stly wanna thx dearest ira n Noni for trying to make me hapi n bring me to a far away land... I did had fun & thank u for being thr for me... I love u gerls so much... Bt once reality kicks in... It's all e same...haix.. Y must u be afraid?? I'm giving a promise n I dun usually break my promises.. Haix... Jz a try will not hurt... U cn choose to leave again if u feel e try is not great enuf... Bt at least u cn say ltr on u gav it a try... Haix... I dunno wat else to do to feel better.. Haix... Nvrm... E world is nvr fair.. Gd nite ppl.. & sg makes me sick again I tink.. Haha.. Feeling feverish.. So helo to Dr tmr I guez...

Genting day 1...

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 15:46:35 GMT

1st day at Genting so exciting bt I'm jz damn sick.. Poor girls hafta slow down for thier sick fren.. Heh.. Bt nvrtheless.. Try my very best to hav fun.. Many funny tings happened tdy..� 1stly.. We took e same bus as tix newlyweds.. Hw we Noe?? By their very fresh looking 'inais'.. E red2 colouring on e fingers Malay ppl use for their wedding.. Ya bck to them.. E ting tt gt us kept paying attention to them was e fact tt we CANNOT help bt to notice e very visible signs of no intimacy btwn them!!!! We nvr saw them holding hands at all thruout e journey, let alone hugs!! They hardly talk & ESP e guy!! At least we cud see e gerl was making some effort.. She tried to lean on his shoulders n stuff bt e guy kept tilting his head e opp way wen she do tt & he listened to e freaking MP3!!!! oh gosh!!! Aft much gossiping... We concluded tt they're nt in love or kinda forced to get married due to mayb being heartbroken or wat like being forced to move on cz ttz like e only option they hav!!!� & wen I looked at them.. My heart jz sank deep... Haixx... I immediately prayed in my heart... Oh nooo!! God plz fun make me hav a marriage tiz kind... Haix... Plz find me a way back to love if in e case I wud hav to be forced to move on... Haixxx... Plz dun let tt be me... Haixxx...� Bt on e happier side.. We met funny ppl who called us funny names... Wen 3 cute pretty gerls walk on thier on at places like tiz... Wat else do u expect?? Lolx!!! Our names suddenly became 'sayangss'!! We get suet feebly smiles!! Lolx!!! & we saw tiz very cute ~3 yr old boy.. His mum accidentaly pulled his hand & he was complaining hw painful it was & his mum kept saying sori sori.. & laughed.. Den he said in such a serious tone.. Sori sori sori!! Sori ONI for girls!! Not for boy!! Wahahahaa!! & e whole lift laughed out loud! So smart & notiiiii!! Lolx!!! Bt kinda true.. Wen a boy say sorry to a gerl.. They wud usually yack abt it bt e heart will let it go.. Bt wen a gerl say sori to a guy.. They usually will accept it bt thier heart is no longer thr.. Life.. Haix.. Hw unfair... �K la gtg.. We're all freezing at starbucks oready!! Enjoy reading ppl!!